Harry Potter, "Hold Me" Sirius/Remus, rated T

[paynesgrey]

 Fandom: Harry Potter
Title: Hold Me
Author: paynesgrey 
Rating: T/PG-13
Word Count: 350
Genre: Angst/Drama
Characters/Pairings: Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, Remus/Sirius
Notes: Reposted. Originally written January 2006. For some reason I never posted this to my fic journal so I'm reposting it here and AO3.

Links: FFnet | AO3

Summary: He couldn't handle it. It frightened him, and being in his arms like this was the only thing that made him feel safe. But he knew the truth that it would not last forever.

He was shaking again, terrified of the moonlight blanketing them through the window. It was no longer full like last night, but it still hung as a poisonous reminder in the sky.

He inhaled a ragged breath, and Sirius held him tighter. He was so cold, so desperate for comfort from someone else, a savior from all his fears – from himself.

Sirius shushed him soothingly, wiping back strands of hair hiding his eyes. He suddenly flinched, then relaxed sighing and snuggling closer.

And he never once made motion to let go.

"Remus…" Sirius sighed in a tone of exasperation. "It will be alright. You needn't cling like I'm going to leave. You'll get through this."

Sirius felt Remus shake his head furiously. He choked out, "N—no, you don't know how terrible it was – how terrible I was. I can't keep doing this. I feel like I'm going to break." Remus breathed and sobbed, nuzzling his head into the crook of Sirius's arm. Sirius bent down and kissed his forehead intimately.

"Face your fears, Remus. You need to focus. You can do this." His voice was confident and moving, and Remus almost believed him. "Someday you won't need this. You won't need me."

"There's no way I could get through this without you." Remus cried. He craned his neck and looked up at Sirius. "You can't go."

"I won't go. But I can't guarantee I'll be here forever." Sirius replied realistically.

"Will you be here tomorrow? The day after tomorrow?" Remus asked troubled, searching Sirius's face for a sign of hope.

"I don't know." Sirius said, but he smiled at Remus and put his finger under his chin, lifting his head up to face him. "But I'm here right now, aren't I?"

Remus's face softened and he nodded. He bent his head down, resting it over Sirius's chest. He needed Sirius for this pain he felt from this horror he had to live with everyday.

But he hated the foreboding fact that Sirius would not always be with him.

He clutched Sirius's body closer. 'But at least... he's here now.'