The Apothecary Diaries (light novel) "Don't Let the Apothecary Eat Mushrooms" rated G, ensemble

[paynesgrey]

Fandom: The Apothecary Diaries (Light Novel)
Title: Don't Let the Apothecary Eat Mushrooms
Author: paynesgrey 
Rating: General Audiences
Characters: Maomao, Basen, Jinshi, Chou-u, Suiren
Notes: Written for the smallfandomfest for the prompt "Maomao finds a delicious unknown poison and tries it out. Hilarious consequences."
Warnings: some inappropriate touching for comedy's sake, drug use, alcohol use.
Link: AO3

Summary: Maomao finds some unidentified mushrooms and Jinshi and Basen find her experimenting - unsupervised.

 

Master Jinshi, dressed in his usual veiled disguise, traveled to the pleasure district with Basen to the run-down hut to visit the apothecary girl and see how she was doing. He came under the guise that he needed some advice, and when he entered the hut, he was greeted by the young boy called Chou-u with a worried expression.

“I wouldn’t visit with Freckles today. She’s, uh, kinda busy,” he said. Chou-u was uncomfortable about something, and he didn’t want them to be there.

Basen, however, did not appreciate that the kid was trying to shoo them away. “We came all this way, so go get her. She can make time for us.”

“Ah…” Chou-u said, and he was about to come up with another excuse, but then the three of them were startled by a crash outside in the back of the hut. They heard a shrill scream and ran to the back, where Maomao was rolling around in the garden, face red and grinning with happiness.

She was scratching her bandaged left arm, the one she used for experiments, and rolling her head around in the grass. In her other hand, she seemed to be drinking strong alcohol.

“What the heck is wrong with her?” Jinshi demanded of Chou-u, who only shrugged.

“She came home with a basket of mushrooms this morning, and she said she couldn’t identify all of them. She gave me some coins, told me to get lost, and she’s been back here experimenting since I came home,” he explained as if this was a common occurrence. 

When it came to Maomao and her experiments, this was standard behavior.

Basen looked horrified, and Jinshi was rushing to her side, picking her up and setting her in his lap. She giggled, coughed, and raised her arm to catch something that she was hallucinating in the air. She tried to drink more alcohol, but Jinshi gently pulled it away from her. When she realized she didn’t have her booze, she growled at him and leaned forward to bite his chest.

“Yow!” Jinish exclaimed, and Basen sprang into action, pulling the girl from Jinshi’s chest, who was still chomping her teeth.

“How long will this last? Should we make her throw it up?” Jinish asked, worried that Maomao was clearly not herself.

Though the moment she fell into Basen’s grasp, she looked up at him adoringly. She caressed her hands on his cheeks and cooed at him. “Hello, sweet sir, who are you?”

Basen froze as Maomao began to stroke his face gently, letting her hands drop down his chest, over his arms, and Jinshi stopped her before she could touch any lower. Poor Basen’s face was beet red, but he was angry, just unable to process this crazy girl’s unexpected fondling.

Jinshi drew her into his arms again, and he panicked, looking around for anything that could help Maomao snap out of it.

“Best to just leave her be until it’s out of her system,” Chou-u suggested. “I tried to warn you. Come back when her experiments are done.”

Jinshi did not want to leave the girl, but she had turned on him again, trying to sink her teeth into any part of his body where she could find purchase. Basen was ready to take Chou-u’s advice, and he was already heading for the front of the hut. 

Jinshi closed his eyes and sighed. “I’m sorry,” he said, and he gave her back her alcohol and set her gently on the ground.

Maomao screeched happily when she had her alcohol again. She rolled on the ground again, taking sips and trying to catch illusions in the sky with her bandaged arm. Jinshi watched her for a moment with worry, but Basen was ready to get the hell out of there.

Begrudgingly, Jinshi left her, making plans to visit another time when she was more lucid. He left a note with Chou-u, and they returned to the palace. Basen was quiet on the ride back, and Jinshi stared out the carriage window, depressed.

A week later, Jinshi received a letter from Maomao, apologizing for her behavior in a congenial tone and sending along a sachet full of tea. 

The tea, of course, was made from the mushrooms she had experimented with that day, along with other dried herbs to give it a sweet flavor. 

“Are you really going to drink that?” Basen fumed at him, ready to confiscate anything made by that mad woman.

“She assures me this isn’t poisonous, and the hallucinogenic effects are mild,” Jinshi said, but he was apprehensive about drinking the tea too. After all, Maomao could tolerate way more poisonous things than he could. After that display when they had visited her, he wasn’t too convinced the tea would be safe.

He was, however, curious about it. He looked at the tea, and then he looked at Basen. “Would you try it first?”

“Ask Suiren! I’m not touching it,” Basen complained. “And you shouldn’t either.”

Suiren, who was within earshot, was more than happy to try the tea. When she brewed it, she took in the sweet scent, and after a few sips, the old lady-in-waiting seemed perfectly fine. She smiled and looked relaxed. She stared off into space, humming lightly.

Jinshi and Basen were fascinated by the woman’s docile behavior, and the tea wasn’t affecting her much differently at all.

“It has a soothing effect,” Suiren commented happily. “I feel light, like my worries have washed away.”

Jinshi, convinced by Suiren’s report, tried some of the tea himself. He, too, felt soothed, and he smiled, glad he was worried about nothing.

“I forgot to mention,” Suiren said. “I’m also seeing butterflies in the air; though, I don’t think they’re real, and I’m feeling a bit more excited.” She looked at Basen, who gulped as he became wary of her interested stare. “I wish I had a nice young man like you, dear, to sit on my lap.”

Basen’s brain seemed to short-circuit. He looked at Jinshi pleadingly, who only drank more of the tea. “Oh yes, there does seem to be some of that effect with it, too.”

Then, Jinshi was looking at Basen with a heavenly smile. He and Suiren looked flushed as they stared at him, and Basen was having a bad feeling about all of this. He started to back away. 

“Ah, I just remembered…I have to report something to my father! Please excuse me!” Then, he bolted. 

Suiren and Jinshi continued to enjoy their tea in mutual silence. Finally, Suiren sighed. “Ah, what a shame he’s gone.”

“Indeed,” Jinshi said, and when the tea was gone, he started to desire the company of a certain apothecary more than ever. 

END

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